Wilting in Depsair
by psearah
Summary: The feeling was like being stretched in all directions at once, with various quivers when one party even slightly over-powered the others. No pain, just fairly unpleasant. Maybe they'd decided to dope me up on morphine before continuing some strange experiment studying the flexibility of the human being. But come to think of it, what is moriphine?
1. Origins

**Author's Note: It is totally necessary for you to go back and read the pilot to this story if you have not already! It sets the background for the story's main character and will become increasingly MORE important as the story goes on. If you want to be confused, be my guest. Now that that is out of the way... Please enjoy the first chapter to this story! I'm pushing this to be a fairly long story with chapters no longer than 5000 words. Once the views start to pick up and the reviews start occurring (**ahem**), we'll get into a more regular schedule with an update every week most likely. Thanks again!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X in any way, shape, or form. The characters, plotlines, made up words, etc. belong to Square Enix and their respective partners. Certain elements have been modified to allow for an original character.**

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Some days, it felt like I'd been here forever. Time was a continuous stream of motion darting in between current and past events that my mind couldn't seem to piece together fully. Others I wasn't so sure. An empty beach was the first thing I remember waking up to. The sand was painful against my skin, dried up and scraping as I attempted to at least get on my hands and knees. The headache was monstrous and tearing, causing dizziness and nausea worse than I'd ever remembered experiencing. The place was vacant save for the sound of ocean waves and any possible animals that may have inhabited the forest that stood not too far from the edge of the sand. It was dark, after all. I'd wondered a while after finally finding my footing. A group of people training a ways from the village had found me starving and dehydrated.

This place had been home for years, Besaid. It was a small, tight-knit community where everyone knew each other. For a few days I had felt like more of an outsider, but once they realized I had no memories of my past the village elders and priests had taken it upon themselves to make my welcoming more… Welcoming. So, I'd taken up rounds to help clean the temple on a regular basis, attended any village celebration, and started working as an apprentice under the village healer.

All of these things felt natural to me. Even though I could not remember my original home village, it was like continuing my old life here. It wasn't long after coming here that I was introduced to the local religion and decided to become a Yevonite myself. It seemed the most natural decision to make at the time and I would never regret that decision. I was able to meet our temple's summoner in training not long ago, and join her party a few times on training runs through the island. Although it was only practice and my fighting skills were slim to none, I was able to sit back and admire the guardians while also healing them when needed.

I felt a duty and not only to Yevon, but to these people who were leaving in a few short hours to begin a pilgrimage that could possibly alter the future of Spira. It was during the bonfire party after our summoner Yuna was able to call on the first aeon that I confronted her. "Lady Yuna," I stared into her eyes that were directly parallel to my own so she knew I was serious, "I know you have a lot of very capable guardians, but you are the only one who has any sort of specialization in white magic. Am I wrong?"

"No, I mean-"

I sighed, "Then please allow me to come on your pilgrimage with you and lift a burden from your shoulders. With a white mage, the pilgrimage will surely be easier and a burden lifted from your shoulders."

"Hana, I would love to-"

I cut her off again, "I mean, I don't know you as well as Khimari or Lulu, and I'm not as good at fighting when compared to any of them. But I feel like this is how I'm supposed to serve Yevon, and I would worry since-"

"Hana!" Yuna started laughing uncontrollably, "I was going to ask you to come with me… As a guardian, if that is what you want."

My mouth fell open as my eyes widened. I preformed a short prayer and wasted no time in crushing Yuna with a hug. "Thanks, Yuna!"

She laughed out loud and I savored it a bit longer than necessary. If I had to explain my actions, I would say they were appropriate. Once a summoner's journey started, happiness was a rare commodity and laughter virtually unheard of. "Don't mention it, really! Also, you didn't have to talk like that, Hana."

I rubbed the back of my head and skipped off to my hut, "Oh, yeah?"

My home here was small like the others, but it was mine and so were the few objects in it. From the decorative tapestry on the far right wall to the fruit on the fruit by my bed, I had all earned it or made it myself. Self-sufficiency wasn't something I had much of when I first came here, but I learned quickly. Six years later in a foreign land and body and mind and I was thriving in my own little part of Spira. In truth I rarely wandered back to think about what my life might have been like before I washed up on the beach. There wasn't much of a reminder left anymore. What few things came with me that day sat in a small box; a pair of long pants that seemed to have been soft at one point, an oversized t-shirt, and a broken doll that resembled some sort of … fiend? Oh, and a necklace. It was pretty nice, silver with a jewel in the center on a flower. The center was only welded to one petal and moved just a bit, separate from the rest. When I got nervous I discovered the habit of moving it side to side. It created a high-pitched chinking noise that often annoyed Wakka. It helped with the nerves…

The day had been long but as I lay down for the night, I couldn't help but run it through in my head a few times. Someone not unlike me had appeared in the ocean early in the day. He wore strange clothing like me, but different. It was more ornate, definitely. He was a blitzer who supposedly played for the Zanarkand Abes.

When I first got here, everyone was really helpful in trying to find out who I was. When it became clear that I wasn't going anywhere they took it upon themselves to educate me on the inner workings and history of the land. In a very important history lesson taught by one of the monks in the temple, we were told that the world basically ended because people relied too heavily on machina, so Sin was sent as punishment. At first it was puzzling to think that the world would be turned upside-down just because of objects. But after a while of thinking on my own, I began to consider the fact that the machina could have been hurting the planet. Pollution from light and waste, cities built over water, levelling land to build the next stadium … At some level of consciousness, humans were out to prove that they were better than the planet. That spelled straight disaster in my mind. Helping the planet was one of the main reasons why I decided to become a Yevonite.

Zanarkand had been one of the larger machina cities that had been destroyed in one of the first waves of Sin's attacks. The destruction was terrible and even now littered with fiends. Only summoners that make it through to the end of their pilgrimage even consider going there for any reason. We all chalked it down to "Sin toxin" and told him to be more careful with his words, then sent him off with Wakka for some food. They'd said the same to me six years ago when I couldn't remember anything at all, coming up with not even a single memory replaced or real. And even then, could I have told the difference?

"_Can you tell me your name? Yuna, bring the healing herbs! This one's bad off!"_

_I looked around the beach, trying to claw my way off the sand. Where was this place?_

_Where am I? Who am I? "My name… My name I Ah…"_

_"__Aara?"_

_I shook my head, "No."_

_"__Arabel, Abel…?"_

_The old woman kept listing off names until I felt I was going to be nauseous. For someone who seemed to be trying to help… "Hana?"_

_I looked up at her. I seemed familiar, wrong but familiar. So I nodded, eager to be rid of her voice for a while._

Tidus, the one who came in today, would be travelling with us to Luca. We were hoping that someone there would know him or be looking for him. Since he seemed to be big with blitzball and the tournament was in for a bit, it seemed likely that if he had a team or had friends who were into it… Someone would see him and take him home. I didn't have a lot of hope for that, but it was more of a lead when they found me. I didn't even have a fake name or age or anything. I didn't know what I liked or hated. I didn't have hobbies or dreams and goals for the future. The concepts were understood, they just didn't mean anything in a personal sense.

Since my "zombie-days", I've become a well-rounded individual. I like weaving, bonfires, soft blankets, healing, and fruit. I strongly dislike large fiends and using weapons. The thrill of blitzball must be beyond my comprehension, because I don't really even like watching the Aurochs practice. In my free time I lay in the sand and watch he tide pull in. I never swim though, because I'm afraid of drowning. I'm in my mid-twenties, but Yuna likes to tell everyone I'm twenty-one because I looked fifteen to her when I first got here. For all I know, she could be right.


	2. A Child's Plaything

We all had to be ready early the next morning, so everyone was pretty tired and groggy when we met up for breakfast. Excluding Yuna of course, practically bouncing around everywhere she went. She served as a mediator between the tired guardians and the villagers who had gotten up as early as we had to see the young summoner off. It was hard not to act a little cheerful though, especially when the children would run up to us wet faces and wish us good luck. I wanted to reassure them that we would all return safely after the pilgrimage was over, but a look from Lulu kept me from saying much at all to anyone. We knew the chances of us all coming back were close to impossible. Not even a party of five-hundred guardians could protect Yuna from her final task. What chance did our little band of well-loved misfits have? I pushed back the negativity from my face and waved as the boat moved from the island.

Once everyone settled on the boat, I had hoped we'd all get some rest. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be the plan for any of the crew or any of the guardians for that matter. So we all stayed up on deck, watching Yuna while she was being doted on by everyone else. She couldn't stand to say no to anyone. It was one of her many charming faults that led to her current career path. "Hana," Wakka stood next to me while I sat on the deck by his feet, "What do you think of the new guy?"

I looked over to where he nodded, noticing Tidus had stolen some binoculars from one of the crew members. He was certainly goofy enough to be around us for the time allotted but again, he was leaving once we hit Luca. Drop him off and let him figure it out himself, right? I offer a slight smile to Wakka, "I don't see the point in warming up to him, right? He's leaving soon anyway so won't have to worry about it too much longer."

Although Wakka had been pretty welcoming to Tidus in the beginning, his patience for the guy was starting to dwindle already. We lived on a small island and visitors were few. Most people didn't stay very long if they didn't fit in. Tidus definitely didn't fit in and if what Wakka told me about Tidus claiming to come from Zanarkand—well, let's just say no one in Besaid would have been happy about that. Sin toxin or not, Zanarkand was a holy place. It made me grateful that I had arrived on Besaid without fake memories or even a past to hold on to. I loved my life with these people.

The boat seemed to suddenly shift and rock violently to one side, then another. I slid quite a bit but grabbed onto a post to keep from falling off the edge. Water washed over me and I panicked, remembering my inability to swim. I wanted to call for help, but who wasn't fighting to stay on board right now? The boat seemed to stop rocked but I held my spot for a while afterwards, wanting to make sure it would be still for a while. Running over the front of the deck I spotted the top of Sin, purposefully headed in the same direction we were. "It's headed for Kilika! "

"My family!"

"We have to do something!"

There like this were continued to be spoken by crew members. Only one ran from the group and frantically grabbed the harpoon. Wakka protested loudly, saying he could get us all killed. "Lady Summoner, I apologize but this is something I must do. I cannot let Sin get too close to Kilika. My family is there!"

Yuna nodded without hesitation. She had just sealed the fate of the entire ship. Of course, I couldn't blame her. As a summoner she was required by title and moral obligation to sacrifice her own life for the lives of others. And if she went down, there was no way any of us were leaving her behind. I grinned and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Yuna, you made the right choice!" I tried to sound determined, but I think my fear of drowning may have caused my voice to quiver a bit.

We turned back to watch the harpoon rise into the air and hit its mark along Sin's topmost fin. There was a sudden, sharp jerk forward and then we all felt the sensation of being pulled along, almost in circles as the large fiend realized we had a hold on it. Wakka looked around at us all but only addressed our summoner, "Yuna, now!"

We all got into a fitting formation at Wakka and Lulu took the lead, being the only ones with a specialization in long-range attacks. I stood behind everyone with Yuna, healing as needed and paying close attention to my own footing as the boat rocked back and forth. As much as the Sin spawn quickly came back one after the other, it was good that they were focused on just getting as much damage done to Sin as possible. If we were able to injure him even a bit, then maybe he wouldn't get some close to Kilika. At least, that's what we were all thinking.

Suddenly, he boat lurched again but harder than before. The harpoon mechanism launched itself off the boat and into the water, bringing Tidus with him. Sin was lost as well, heading in the same direction as before. Without warning, Wakka jumped into the ocean and forced us all to watch as he swam deeper and deeper in search of Tidus. I admired his value for the life of someone he barely knew, but found myself also cursing his stupidity. I shook the thought from my head as the seconds ticked by. These thoughts could not be my own, so I urged myself into a mental cheer for the two companions that hadn't surfaced yet. When they were finally pulled onto the boat, they both looked pretty well beaten up and defeated. There must have been fiends fairly close if they were attacked so heavily. But perhaps, it could also be the nagging fact that we'd failed to protect Kilika and so the rest of the short ride was spent in silence as we watched the dilapidated horizon rise with the falling sun.

The island was nearly completely destroyed. Wooden boards floated along the top of the water, along with the personal belongings of many islanders. I couldn't help but wonder if the owners of any of these things could still possibly be alive. A small group of people met us as the boat docked at a harbor that had been saved only by its close proximity to the mainland. The eyes of our party were kept downcast as the whole feeling of the place reached into us, bringing out the dark side of our minds that told us it was our fault that so many lives had been lost. What more could I have done?

Locals lead us to a side of the island that had been mostly boarded pathways over the water. Now, more of the beach was exposed. We were greeted warmly despite the circumstances, which startled me a bit. Although they should feel grateful that a summoner arrived exactly when they needed one, how could they smile at a time like this? Maybe it was a part of Yevon's teachings I had yet to master.

Instead of holding up my place in the back like usual, I stood on the edge of the beach and viewed all of the caskets holding the bodies of the dead. Some of them were smaller than others. I felt my heart rip in two at that moment; Children had died today. How could we have allowed this to happen? Yuna walked past me and over the waters, her bare feet only causing lightly ripples as she began the sending. Although funeral ceremonies seemed to be a village event there had only been a couple in my time at Besaid and I had attended neither, so I was unfamiliar with the customs. I wondered if a summoner had to perform a sending every time a person died or just when Sin attacked. Another question to ask Yuna later on.

When the dance picked up the water seemed to raise up to my ankles and I felt something bump up against my leg. Peering down cautiously, I knelt down on my knees and grasped the object in both hands, staring with unblinking eyes. A child's doll stitched together by hand and the fabric of her skin was dark as if sun-kissed, highlighted by the red sundress it wore and the wet, matching liquid that covered and stained it's whole right side. Yuna's dance had ended as the sun sank deeper into the ocean, but my grasp on the toy only served to distract me as Lulu walked to stand beside me. The tide had drawn back in and would no longer drench the hem of her dress. "Hana," she leaned over me to place a hand on my shoulder, "It's time to go in now."

I nodded and stood, clutching the doll to my chest with both hands now as Lulu realized what it was. She led me all the way back to the inn, where I sat soundlessly with the doll until I fell asleep against the headboard.

The energy of the whole island was nearly completely from before when morning came. The locals were already rebuilding their homes and paths with help from the crusaders. Although the whole lot of them seemed much too focused on battle for their own good, doing things like this to help the island restored a small bit of faith in them as a whole. After leaving the inn, I'd decided to walk around a bit to see if anyone needed my help. To be honest, I wasn't sure what I could do. Anything I built would surely fall over in short time and emotions were never my strongest point of control. I spotted a pair of girls who seemed to be my supposed age. They stood chatting about something that seemed to be fairly serious, so I walked over to them. "Hello there," I smiled tentatively as they turned around to stare blankly at me.

One of the girls was taller than the other and seemed a little lighter in personality with a mop of blond hair and a slight smile dancing on her lips. The other had long, light blonde hair tied up in a fairly large bun at the top of her head. Her eyes seemed fairly blank, but her mouth stretched unpleasantly from one corner to the other. I felt very unwelcome. "Hey," the blonde one exaggerated her smile a bit more, "I don't recognize you. Are you from around here? I'm Mariko and this is my sister, Kami. Nice to meet you!"

I nodded and showed off my own grin before preforming the prayer, "And you too. My name is Hana, guardian of the summoner Yuna, daughter of High Summoner, Lord Braska."

Mariko's eyes widened a fraction and glanced over to her sister's before returning to her original facial expression. It was not an action I missed. She laughed lightly, "Oh, really? I had heard that Lady Yuna had only one female guardian."

"Yeah," I nodded, "I only decided to join right before the pilgrimage started. I hope to offer my skills as a white mage to Lady Yuna for as long as she'll have me."

I felt these two must be very distraught as having their homes demolished. Perhaps Yuna had even sent some of their family members the day before. I decided this would be a good opportunity to inspire some hope and gain some points for Yuna, and told them of how they'd discovered me and saved me from dehydration the day I washed up on Besaid's shores. They both seemed genuinely interested awed by my tale of how I'd become a guardian. Even Kami who had kept a clean façade appeared to be paying close attention. But as soon as I was done talking, they both seemed in a hurry to race off. "My…" Mariko sighed heavily, "That is quite the story! It was wonderful, but I'm afraid we'll have to be going now."

I wave the odd pair off as they powerwalked off the beach and into the forest. An urge overcame me to follow them, realizing that there were probably fiends and possible Sin spawn running about. Then again, they could probably hold their own if they were able to walk so confidently into danger. Dismissing it, I took off my sandals and allowed my feet to soak into the wet sand. It was quiet here.


	3. Hidden Time Turner References

BONUS CHAPTER FOR THE KIDDIES

"What do you _mean_ by that?" A young woman glared at her subordinate for what she was, "We've been late on our deadlines before but never by more than a few days if record holds true. Two and a half weeks is too long to hold out. We have to find another way."

Annalee Faustus was always a bit demanding when it came to doing things efficiently and on time. Her years of being around like-minded people only worsened the drive. The scenery only served to heighten her intimidation. She sat at her own desk in an office room, desks of numerous shape and material standing around the large room. Some of them empty and abandoned, others in various states of disarray or organization. "Well, you see," the girl with long brown hair and green eyes pushed her glasses up and met the gaze of her boss, "I'll be visiting my Dad in Florida for a while, so I won't be able to update anything until I get back. I'll keep writing and stuff since I'll have my laptop, but updating will be impossible without internet and where I'm going there is none, so…"

The girl stopped speaking, under pressure from other in front of her. Of course the Psearah (the girl in question) was a little upset herself over the whole ordeal, but visiting family she hadn't seen in a while was arguably more important than staying home and keeping a strict update schedule. However, Psearah knew Anna wouldn't have the patience to fully understand what was going on. "If it's going to be that long until _STUCK_ is updated, then how long until _Wilted_ gets some attention?" Anna voice was as a normal volume, if not a little annoyed.

"Soon," Psearah held up her hands in a distancing gestured and sighed, "Just as soon as I can figure out how to deal with you two."

Feeling like she was being mentioned, a girl of similar looks to Annalee popped her head up from furiously filling out paperwork and turned towards a desk that was only one away from her own. "I'm sorry?"

Anna pointed her thumb over at the younger girl in question, "Look at that girl over there. You're planning on vacationing in Florida while she works her weak little ass off. Where's the happy ending for her? Where's the retribution? The freedom? When do _we_ get a holiday? And better yet, do you plan on using this as an excuse to discontinue _our stories _like you have so many others in the past?"

At this, various other people in the room lifted their heads towards the conversation. A collection of half-heartedly discarded original characters, bored with life at a standstill and ready for their own endings. "No, I'm actually going somewhere with this," Psearah drove a hand through her fringe, "You of all people should know, Anna."

With that, the instigator sighed and waved off all the others that had become distracted by the argument. It was true, Annalee knew for a fact that Psearah was driven to continue writing as much as possible and wouldn't leave I finished until she was completely satisfied. "Yeah, guess you're right. Sorry."

Psearah nodded her gratitude at being left alone and left to go finish some work of her own.


End file.
